Wednesday, March 08, 2006

anger, frustration and helplessness

i v started.. my right thumbnail is no more.. my anger, my frustration and my helplessness has all been removed on my innocent thumb. next up is the nail of the ring finger of my left hand.. my left hand has immaculate nails.. n it looks like i m out to ruin thm too.. i m controlling y anger.. i m not bursting out on anyone.. but well i guess this is alloed.. even if i ll repent this for a long long time... it ll grow back.. thts wht i keep telling myself..

i m frustrated n angry abt so many things right now.. a certain situation where i know wht i have to do.. but i cant make things happen the way i want.. a certain situation where its been preoved tht my intelligence was all along actually my stupidity.. n i m not as creatie n talented as i thought.. a certain situation where someone had pledged me life long frndship and support has easily backed out for personal gain..a certain situation where dumbfucks are getting wht i should be getting and they are getting it coz of ass licking..and a certain situatio where someone i trust a lot keeps lying abt a very very small thing. well the truth has been admitted to now.. n i m at peace there now.. but i was terribly angry abt it in the morning..

y cant i have the guts to go n do wht i m supposed to do
y cant i understand tht i m really not all tht intelligent or creative as everyone makes me out to be.. i have to learn to understand me myself..
y cant i stop trusting these ppl who call themselves my frnds..
y cant i resume to tht time of my life.. whn i dint need any more frnds.. they will never be wht my other frnds r for me.. they ll never be trustworthy
y cant i accept the fact tht ppl who get the success i work so hard for just by licking someones ass and cleaning their shit are the ones who r truly successful..
y cant i have ppl in my life who wont lie abt such small things as a single missed call to me..

well i guess the answer to it all is tht my life is not meant to be a bed of roses. n everyone has their problems.. but i wonder my problems never seem to change.. they r always the bloody same thing..


creative genius said...


seems too much of a frustration of life.

feels like u r understand that whts life is.

and i think the way u r trying to get rid of ur frustartion is not theway. u got to find a better soln and when such thing happen try and remember the good time u have had.

i too have seen all this (may be u might not agree) ..
use to feel the same but you know wht ...
u have to make compromises .. and do the best u can and say true to urself.

and also i try and follow that those who matter do not mind and those who mind do not matter.

Anonymous said...

experienced same.