Monday, October 12, 2009

what is reality, really?

It is about a year and three months since this day.

I don't know when it happened, but my surreal world became my reality. The U.S.of A became my reality in these last two and something years.

I loved everything I knew I would love, and some more. I hated almost everything I knew I would hate, and some more. I faced everything I knew I would face, and so much more. If before coming here, I thought I knew all the emotions and feelings I was capable of, now I know that that spectrum is impossible to define. If before I thought I was worldly-wise, now, I know what the word actually means.

But, come the end of my studying, my original plans loomed in front of my eyes. Taunting me. Asking me if I still wanted to go back to India. Firmly I said yes. In a few weeks the firmness kind of disappeared. I found myself floundering for a hold here. Then, the universe reminded me of what I had always believed would be my happiness.

Home. India. Mumbai.

And now, Two years and two months and twenty days later, I find myself returning back home. To India. To Mumbai.

And now, this, right now, feels surreal. Leaving my life here and heading back. Goinf back to where I was two years ago. But going back as a different person. Because boy, I sure have changed. I know what worldly-wise means now!! :D

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

is back.

It's been a while. And somethings have changed around here. Some old posts have "disappeared".

I figured, since I was starting afresh after 6-ish months, I might as well remove the traces of what embittered me enough to stop blogging. And not talk about it ever again. So this is the last you will see me mention of the dark days from last august to the much brighter days now.

I toyed setting up a new blog. Hell, I even started one. Two. Or maybe three. But came back here. Cause these are my roots right? If I do ever shift, I will forward the link from here. So I feel like I just packed my roots to a new place and did not uproot totally and set somewhere else.

I've been craving to write. Itching even. I formed posts in my head during this hiatus, and then pretended like I wrote it with the imaginary pen in my head and then dismissed the thoughts. And lost those posts forever. I know, sad right?

What's new in my life will follow in posts to come. Slowly. But the one major change around here is gonna be this - I love my readers. Seriously, I do. But for my well being, and world peace and such, I am going to write like no one is reading. I am not going to depend on readers, I am not going to count on them or write for them. I will just write. For myself.

Because writing is second nature to me. And while in the past too I wrote with reckless abandon, this time around, I bared my soul a bit too much. And sometimes, the universe loves the game of Soul Football. So, I will write keeping my well being in mind. Everyone else will just have to fend for themselves.