Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Spinning on my axis...

Ever chased a racing leaf on the sidewalk?
Watched the trees turn into spun gold/copper/red metal/pink gems?
Smiled at every stranger you met on the road?
Told your bus driver how you are sure she will find happiness in her new marriage?
Looked at the moon and squeed, "It's a full moon on a purple sky!!!!!!!!!!!" ?
Cooked something just because someone has been craving it from a long time?

These are the little pleasures of life here.

The crackle of leaves turned into a crispness, of color and material. I started a collection and RM and me both keep adding on it. The chest in our living room is beautifully decorated with all the colors of fall we could gather.

The beauty of the black,black trunk of the tree adorned and made even more beautiful by the beautiful colors of leaves on it. It is as if the trees have been decked up in gold, copper, and bronze jewelry. Really. Everytime I bend down to pick up a leaf and carefully store it in my book or bag, there is someone looking at me curiously. And when the someone understand that I am storing my first fall, gathering remembrances for life, they give a gentle laugh and an indulgent look.

Everybody smiles. I can't believe that I think it is rude of those few who don't. Me, who was a grumpy, cynical brat back home. I REALLY was. Everyone wishes you a good day, and everyone asks you how you are. Some even really answer when you ask them that back. They discuss their marriages, lives, moving out, children, growing up and growing old too. All it takes to start the conversation is, "It's so cold/hot today".

But the cold (its -1.5 in the nights, and 2 to 6 in the day) brings along with itself a resplendent sun. One that shines down like the king granting a favor by its presence. A lazy, slow glow. Which warms, but doesn't drive the chill away. And when the sun shines down on the skies? It creates magic. Especially in the evening when it's setting. It spins a mesmerizing, blanket of rioting colors. And then it leaves the skies, but leaves its purpleness, or whichever color it has spun behind. And then the moon reigns. And oh, it looks so darn pretty. I wish I could climb high up on a tree so that someone could take a picture of me with the beauty up there.

And finally, on a hectic, busy, workloaded sunday, when you remove the time to cook gujju dal, just because your roommate really, really wanted to have it. It feels good. Really good. Especially when the dal turns out perfect. And even if there was not enough left for you in the end. It feels good.

I just hope the goodness lasts...

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Who said Voice Message system was stupid!!!

Whirrr Click.. You have reached the Voice Mailbox of.... ~The Dream Catcher~.

You have... Nine new messages..

First Message - Benaa, where are you.. every time we call your phone goes to your voice mailbox. Call back quick (Mom)

Second Message - Hey, I am really sorry. Din't mean to upset you, I just said what I said because you said that she did not know what you said, and I did not know if she knew so I just did not say anything. I hope you got what I said. Mumble-mumble mumble. Call me back, k? (Dreamer, friend over here)

Third Message - Paraaaggg, where are you yaar. Throw, just throw your phone away. I reallllyy need to talk to yaar. What is this yaar. I will call you later ok? Take care yaaaarrr.. (Mr. Pilot)

Fourth Message - Bena, tel lagava ja. (Literaly translated - Go apply oil, actually means - GET LOST). Hmphh. Call me back. QUICKLY. (Mom)

Fifth Message - This is an automated message for Rwanda Cole. Are you Rwanda Cole? You have $ 5400 left in debt with United Colors of Benetton due to the over limit purchasing of $ 5300. Please pay your dues. Thank you Rwanda Cole. (Unknown debt payment system that insists that I am Rwanda Cole, although I have replied in the negative to her initial question atleast half a dozen times)

Sixth Message - BETA!! Mom is waiting for your call. Where are you? Why aren't you calling back? Quick. (Dad)

Seventh Message - Bena, never mind. If you are studying then call on my cell after you are done ok? (Brother)

Eight Message - Love, are you ok? Call. ( Mom)

Ninth Message - Static... Pause.... Cough.... Click.

Voice Messages are fun!!!!

Now that mom dad have gone back to India, wonder who will leave so many messages :(

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Things Room mate can hate about me...

So I believe that I am pretty objective and fair. No, really. Which is why, I tried to think of things from a different angle. I tried to get into RoomMate's shoes, into her skin and her brain and list out the things she might hate about me. Like, her brain might go, "There, she did that again. I so HATE that about her." So the following part has been written from what might be her perspective.

  • I hate the fact that Pragni stays at the Union to study till 12 in the night.
  • I hate the fact that she then studies at all weird times, like from 12 in the night to 5 in the morning and keeps the light burning in her room all that while.
  • I hate the fact that Pragni eats cereals and cereal bars and oats for breakfast.
  • I hate the fact that she has 6 bottles of Conditioners and 7 bottles of Shampoos.
  • I hate the fact that she feels too cold when I put the air-conditioner on.
  • I hate the fact that she cannot bear the loud, LOUD bass music that the neighbors plays everytime she is studying.
  • I hate the fact that she soopenly dislikes me taking lifts and drives from people. So much so that I have actually reduced them.
  • I hate the fact that she wants to shop for groceries together, thought she did go alone the last time when I went to a pub for a party.
  • I hate the fact that Pragni believes that laundry should be done once every two weeks.
  • I hate the fact that she loves apple juice.
  • I hate the fact that her room is an masterpiece of Organized mess, while mine is strictly, disciplined organization.
  • I hate the fact that sometimes when she is going out of the door, she asks me to lock up behind her and does not use her key.
  • I hate the fact that she keeps momentarily losing her things just to find them again under a minute.
That's It. I can't think of anything more than this that she could hate about me. Now does this give me the right to list out the facts I hate about her? :) just kidding..

Apparently she wants to stay with me next year too, even if I might graduate by December and not stay the entire year. Hmmmm..

Do you really think she could hate all this about me? Really, Really??

Friday, October 12, 2007

Blankness prevails..

Why does the mind keep expecting even though it has been made clear in the past that expectations are not to be entertained..

Life can march right along with noone around and with everyone around. Life just does not stop to watch, the destruction or splendor..

I don't want to miss the magic, but sometimes, you expect too much of a magical quality from it.. which can kill the charm of it..

I successfully manage to kill the charm off all my magic. Always.

Maybe I should go chop my hair off..

Monday, October 08, 2007

Stars Shine Down...

Ever seen a star in the eye? Try it.

Try gazing at the shining glimmer of a now-bright, now-dark star..

Try gazing at the throbbing intensity of a thousand stars shining down..

It's an experience on its own. It's something that will last you a lifetime. I hope I get my fill of them in this lifetime, doesn't seem possible though..

It feels like the stars are talking down with you. Like they are saying something, only if you understand it. Like they are pointing to something, only if you get it..

It feels like heaven..

Friday, October 05, 2007

And life goes on..

So how much do you think a chat window can express? Even if I am being honest about when I smile and when I don't, you'd never know the difference between a sad, forced smile and an enthusiastic, happy smile.

You'd never know the doubts clouding my eyes when I said I was ok, and you'd never know the hesitation with which I said things are going great.

And I'd never know what you meant when you said, everything that you said..

And life goes on..

Another October begins..

Monday, October 01, 2007


I have a blank Word Document in front of me. In fact it has been there for the better part of the day.

Whenever anyone calls, I say, "Uhh.. I'm studying.. can I get back to you later? I'll call you when I take a break."

Said call disturbs my thought process (maybe the thoughts were just about to be spilled on the blank Word Doc, you know) and I decide to download a few songs. I download Euphoria's entire album. 9 songs. Then chiding myself about not studying, I turn to the blank Word Doc. I then download Shaan's entire collection of songs. 21 songs.

Dhum pings me online and wonders if I am studying that hard. I say "Ofcourse, oh and could you forward the song from Dor to me? Ahh Thanks.."

Back to studying then. I think about the reflection paper I am supposed to submit on Wednesday, and the article I am supposed to submit on Tuesday, and the report I am supposed to submit on Monday - TOMORROW!!

Brain refuses to get stimulated, motivated, inspired. I turn to the 600 page reading I have to do for next Monday. Brain loses all grasp on stimulation, motivation, inspiration and spirals down to lala land. Sleep. ZZZZ. Forty Winks. But in my case, a little more often.

Everytime I start my readings, one page = 30 minutes of deep sleep. So deep that I even have dreams. I tried reading while I was walking, I stood for 30 minutes sleeping. I tried reading while I was studying with friends, I camouflaged my sleep. I tried reading while I was sitting on the hard, rough, poky carpet, I slept on my reading. Sigh. And I finally, desperately, tried reading while I was sleeping. Some inverse logic might be at action, I though. Needless to say, I slept. Sleeping.

"How are you with deadlines??"
"Oh, deadlines are sacred to me. Back home, we used to say, 'you gotta meet a deadline, even if you are dead!!"

This is what I said in my interview. And I think this is why I got my job.


Sigh. The Word Document is still blank...