moms not home tonite.. she s sleeping at the marriage house.. now tht how i refer to mama's place..
things r in full force here now.. got a pedicure n manicure today.. feel so satisfied.. like a cat with a lottt of malai.. purrr
tomm i ll get my facial n clean up.. thn i ll smart all over my face..
also frm tomm we start decorating the house.. i ll b sleeping there frm tomm..we ll do the rangoli.. diyas.. flowers.. tissue.. gold n red ribbons.. n lace..
gold net hoops.. lights.. mehendi...bouquets..
so many things tht make a marriage.. n everything reminds of how i ll do it in chintan bhais marriage n mine.. sometimes i think oh i ll also get tht in my marraige.. n sometimes i think oh we wont do thigns like this in chintan bhai s marriage..
i know he wants a quiet calm marriage.. but i m hoping he wont deny me all the fun n laughter i m looking ahead too..
so many ppl ask me these days.. whn he ll get married.. n all i say is well.. we r not even looking yet.. actaully.. i m not even ready.. to start looking for a wife for him.. a wife..
another member.. someone to share his affections with.. i m already a wild cat whn his affections r shared amongst me n shekhar.. or me n hiral didi.. how will i manage a new member in the home.. a permanent member.. i m not ready for it like i said.. i still feel tht this is not the time.. we r stil kids.. wonder whn i ll grow out of tht delusion...
everyone his age.. around us is getting married or looking to get married..
lord knows how i ll b able to take his marriage.. i hope it wont b like everyone says.. tht whn someone gets married he/she leaves old affections n ties n relationships behind..
coz i ll fiercely fight for my brother.. the first person i fell in love with.. the only person who truly deserves my love.. or so i feel.. the only person of whom i can get exactly wht i can expect.. i m not saying tht i d expect the world out of him.. but i d expect .. n he d give me just wht id expect..
the only person who can handle me so well.... more thn anyone.. even if not completely.. thn more thn anybody..
love u bhai.. n i m so scared of ever losing u.. i could still bear it whn u took of for the states.. coz i knew we make a full circle.. but wht abt whn someone new enters ur life.. one more person who might have to b seperated frm me..
befor i wrote this blog.. i had something else in mind.. whn i started out i started with something different.. n whts come up is something entirely different.. i am of half a mind to erase this.. well mayb i ll just let it b..