Increasingly, I realize that I don't belong to the groups that are formed in typical situations. I have often been a part of huge communities, but I have always emerged as the sore thumb.
Its been like that since I passed out from school. During school years, the bond formed were too deep, and in fact they were all formed coz each person being a sore thumb in their own way. College, I made just one friend in my entire class of 60.
Another place where I belong is the virtual world. I blogged with a passion when I started. It's mellowed down, gone through a lot of thought processes, and reached an ad hoc state. An understandum, as it can be said.
Anyway, here too, I stand out as a sore thumb. In the entire blog world, I as usual don't fit. I was very happy to meet my fellow bloggers, delighted to make their acquaintance. But then, I have resumed my normal role of being the observer, watching from a distance. And I quite realize that I am happier not conforming to the group.
I feel better for not having slipped into the well-placed slot in these groups. None of these slots fit around me. Trying to conform with these moulds feels like wearing an ill-fitting tee and and a scratchy, too tight pair of jeans.
Your identity is supposed to be something that is so you, something that you are comfortable in, right?
So there, I am glad I'm not a conformist. I am so happy being a non-conformist, a sore thumb and a loner, as a professor has once called me. Because it is because of this quality that I find those very few people who understand my need for silence, standing apart, and my non-tolerance for inane stupidity. Like my family of course. Also pRi, Dhanno and Tag.