My mom has been insisting on reading my blog. Which is good news. But for the fact that I wanted her to read it once I left. And of course, she insists on reading it right now. So we havebeen methodically going over each post from the very beginning..
And I realized, that in the beginning I spoke of my opinions, my emotions, my thoughts so freely. No reigns.. I spotted an issue, discussed it with someone, or directly on my blog, and expressed all my opinions. That's what I guess blogging is about. Somehow, from quite a few months, every post I write, I either delete, save as a draft or save it to my desktop. Because either I think that it's fruitless to write about these emotions, or that it's getting too public. Maybe this changed happened because of the fact that I met my fellow bloggers, a few who were my readers.
I became vulnerable with that meet. I guess its a very human process. I wondered during the meet what would happen, then I wondered if I fit in. I realized that I normally dont fit in anywhere.. I'm not the fitting kinds!! But I made a few.. friends.. I guess.
One such blogger, Idea, told me one day that she'd like to read the drafts.. the one's that I havent published on the blog, and I was delighted. But then like many things said and forgotten.. it was too.
But reading all my old blogs today.. I remembered what I felt at each moment, and whether it was pain, joy, sorrow, the good, the bad, the ugly.. It felt beautiful now. To me. And so I will blog about it. I will write.
And If I ever think that the blog has become to public, I'll just shift the sands again and take up another blog somewhere else!! I'll keep you posted..