What happened to the girl who never thought before doing, saying or wanting anything? When did people start telling her that you think too much..
What happened to the girl who had supreme confidence in her skills and talent? When did she start fearing her own karmabhoomi so much that she wouldn't touch it with a barge pole..
What happened to the girl who was the center of all parties? When did she start hating, abhorring attention..
What happened to the girl who firmly believed in love, and knew it would happen at the right time? When did she start believing that she did not deserve love and there was no way in hell anyone would even think of her that way..
What happened to the girl who had all the traits of growing up into a teenage girl, young girl and a woman? When did she start thinking that she was just not good enough to ever be considered a woman..
What happened to the girl who looked in the mirror and loved what she saw?
She Never Existed at all...
Our perceptions of beauty are very surreal, framed and conditioned by a society who wants perfection and rejects anything else. And the outer appearance counts for so much that the inner person starts hating herself for what she does not look like, even though everytime she visualizes herself, its someone different. And everytime she sees the mirror she realized that she was not what she thought and visualized herself to be. She did not have that sculpted jaw line, well defined cheek bones or even the large almond shaped eyes.
Everytime she went to an interview, met someone important, she thought why the hell would they be interested in whats up, down, right or left in my life.. Because she did not look like a star, she assumed they would immediately reject her, they definitely wanted pretty people in their offices.
Because all the while.. She did not exist at all..
Cross-Posted at http://tangentialthinking.wordpress.com/