Thursday, November 16, 2006

Deepening the blue..

Since my GRE scores have come, my once firm mind has turned soft, un-firm, whatever. My plans were concrete earlier, study copy-writing and creative writing abroad. Now all of a sudden they have turned to mush, as mushy and un-concrete as a rainwater puddle.

This metamorphosis happened because, by the time my GRE drew close I was sure I would score a not-very-good score, since my best friend, who is super intelligent scored a 1320 that too on his second attempt. I was prepared to pack up my dreams and not go to USA. I had decided MICA's creative arts course was perfect for me, so what if it was a little too expensive. And so what if it was in that god forsaken place it was in.

Whenever anyone asked me why I seemed not so hunky-dory about the idea of studying abroad now I just shrugged it off. Somehow when someone I consider a very good friend asked me with utter and due shock about why I don't wanna go to USA, I just broke the barrier and listed my reasons..

1. I wanna study in MICA coz that seems like an easy entry.

2. I don't think I can make it into a good US university

3. I am unhappy here... how will I be happy there

4. I like routine.. I don't want to be uprooted from here and smashed in between nowhere

5. Even if I do make it into a University what if I am not competent enough for copy-writing

6. I am too scared to face the fact that the career I wanna go on, might not be the one I am go

To which he replied:

is tag heur rightly spelled?

I mean.... what is the world coming too??


Chintan said...

its simulaenous discusssion of two topics..thats wat the world has come to..discussin 2 things at the same time..ha ha ha...and i said it between the 5th and 6th reason..i dint reply after..and the best of all.. u dint even tell me the correct spellin..n confused urself!!!..bas i commented..

p.s: dont take this seriously too..else u will add topic in ur blog for it..lolz..

Aniruddha said...

well I dont agree here .. For every question of yours I have an answer. First of all, whats your GRE score... secondly, let me tell you, GRE score is not the only thing thats important for admissions / future career. Its your aptitude and confidence in yourself.

Sometimes, easiest options in life may not be the best/ right. So just because something looks tough does not mean it is and definitely does not mean its wrong way. The future is unknown to everyone and all the what-if questions do not make sense ... the same questions can be asked about parallel future choices ..

I think its time for you to sit down and draw a flowchart for yourself mapping your future .. good luck .. doesnt matter how much time you take for this stage .. its your decision and your strength to stick with that decision is what matters ..

pragni~dreamcatcher~ said...

a flowchart?? we have a planning freak amongst us?? ;)
well.. the future seemed so sure all those years.. from my first year of college till 31st october 11 in the morning.. but it all fell down like a pack of cards with my GRE score. Because I had expected them to be really bad. they shocked me coz they were decent. I got 1320. Its now tht I am this confused.. :(.. i hate this state of being too.. but just cant find a way out of it..

pragni~dreamcatcher~ said...

oh and Chintan Tag Heuer is spelled like this.. hehe..

J said...

Take a look at my bachelor's degree. My first job. My present job. Where do they relate. By I finally reached where I wanted to. So dont let those negative thoughts take of u. You have taken a step forward for the field that interested you. Dont think much just move ahead. Have confidence and you will find where you want to go.